Aint love a kick in the head?

Its 1 am on Friday night... or Saturday morning, however you want to look at it. My Mom and Dad called from Korea at 10:30 pm and it was 12:30 pm on Saturday for them. My Dad sounded terrible. He said this accident is the worst thing thats ever happened to him and I believe it. He's homesick for us and we are homesick for them.

I feel bad...eating out at the Olive Garden, cancelling babysitting jobs and staying up til 1 in the morning watching a four hour Full House Marathon while they are overseas and wishing to be home.

Mrs McMahan says thats shes thankful for times when we need Jesus more. Amen. I think things are going to different around here when Mom and Dad get back.

So, here, alone on a Friday night, I think about all the what ifs. Grandpa likes to tease me about chasing boys, and if there are more good looking boys in Madison than in Decatur and my boyfriend...or lack thereof. All my single cousins back in Indiana are in a relationship and Daniel was when he was my age.

But why am I sounding so bitter and depressed? I'm really not.. Even this morning I had to repent of the sin of complaining about circumstances rather than praising God for blessings...and here I go again.

Jesus is my Master. No more needs to be said.

Resting 'neath Thy smile Lord Jesus....earth's dark shadows flee

It is true. Having the responsibility of a "mom" suddenly thrown on me, and having both parents out of the country- its only made me love Jesus one thousand times more. AND its made me realize his love for me one million times more! Why does it take trials and hard circumstances for us to stand back in awe of God's blessings?! I dont know... but I'm sure glad he does it.

I feel I will make a lousy Mom. Although I will have more time to prepare when I have my own kids...but I feel I'm not doing such a great job. I wish I was one thousandth as patient and kind as I want to be and not self-seeking or easily angered. I wish I sought the good of others and not just be barking out commands all the time. Ehh...wishes. I know Jesus is teaching me in all of this, but oh my gosh ITS SO HARD!!!!!

I need my Mom. Pray for me please. If it weren't for fantastic friends who are ready and willing to help I'd be going insane!!